Every weekend, long-suffering referee Mr. Armistead wades into the melee to try to teach two sets of testosterone-fuelled maniacs the value of restraint, justice and fair play. Why does he persist in this near-futile endeavour? Is it because he has a dangerously masochistic streak? Or is it because Mr Armistead genuinely believes that he can use his peaceful philosophy of life to tame the wilder excesses of the players of Co-op Albion and, on this occasion, the Parker Street Depot?