1979. The frozen wastes of the Arctic. A 'small clerical error' finds private Rudy Spruance (American Pie's Jason Biggs) posted to an army hospital that doesn't 'officially' exist. In charge is the crazed colonel Woolwrap (Jeremy Northam), aided by his beautiful sergeant and secret lover (Natascha McElhone).

Rudy soon realises that he is the only sane man on the base. After various failed escape attempts he falls for the colonel's girlfriend and stumbles upon one of the US Military's best kept secrets ... A secret the Pentagon is determined will never be told.

But Rudy has other ideas.